Well, hi all. Since last writing, I have have been to Thailand, France, and London. Written a 'wanderings' blog about that trip ... right up to the point when my beloved Bailey died.... well, before that actually becuase the whole point of htat trip was to go Barbara's Scanner Retreat... my beloved wonderful Barbara... and I didn't even write about it...
Why is that? Because on Friday of the retreat, as we were leaving I found out
Bailey was run over by none other than my poor unsuspecting brother in law, who was looking after him at the time, he had been operated on with protruding intestines in his lung cavity and, and fighting for his huge and significant fur baby life.
I just finished chatting with Barbara just then actually and she reminded me i have to keep telling the truth.
It's 1.17am here in sunny queensland. The place I came to to escape my lot in life in Tasmania. Am I meant to say that? Escaping my problems...
Does anyone want to hear an angry rant? I thought I had healed it you know with all that personal development crap that tells me 'don't get upset Janine' ... don't even think about it. If having toxic thoughts about your sister made her double over in pain, and did anything other than make you sick then it would be worthwhile having them, but they don't so get over yourself.
What the fuck is with that? Telling me not to get upset... why would a human even have the capacity to be upset if we weren't meant to get upset!?? Is it some weird cosmic joke god decided to have just to make human existence excruciatingly painful? How many emotions and toxic shit get pushed down, or around, or at other people because no one is allowed to express that kind of thing?
Well any evolved person isn't anyway.
I am not sure i am making sense here, and you know, I have felt so deeply profoundly and humongously wronged over this last month you wouldn't imagine. Yes, the starving children in Africa and their mothers watching on distraut, are yes, much bigger problems than mine ...and you know ... i'm not in Africa, I'm in pathetic little Tasmania having my own pathetic little problems which in the scheme of world peace, global warming and fucking natural disaster zones, really seem self indulgent.
The Shift is happening, it's happening now, it's the shift of consciousness and we must deal with our shit. Compassion is the order of the day... so buck up get over yourself and love. Love. Love.
Yeah, stuff is bubbling up allfuckingright. Love, acceptance and compassion emerges once the lid of all the other stuff has been bubbled up and released in whatever appropriately manageable way there is.
There endeth today's rant ...
Chocolate anyone?
lots of love and big fat smoochy hugs to you
J
Once again, the Western world got it wrong. That whole thing about, "I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man with no feet"??? Well, just because you are grateful you have your feet DOES NOT mean you cannot be sad that you have no shoes. Gah!
ReplyDeleteGratitude and grief ARE NOT mutually exclusive.
OK. My rant is over.
Feel what you feel, sweetie. The rest will take care of itself.
Much love and many hugs to you.